


the downsides of reading a gallifreyan teenager’s diary

by notveryhandy



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, I’m so sorry, im so so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notveryhandy/pseuds/notveryhandy
Summary: Emo Narvin discovers the inherent flaws of young Romana’s diary.
Relationships: Irving Braxiatel/Narvin, Romana/Darkel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	the downsides of reading a gallifreyan teenager’s diary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sparrowvanya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowvanya/gifts).



> literally fuck you bella

I am not a factor in the upcoming events; I am merely relaying them, for the masses. Also, we all want to hear about the hot gossip of Romana’s teenage years. Rumours or not, they certainly illustrate the pointlessness of existence.

Seriously, how could you even imagine kissing Darkel? It is beyond me.

* * *

Though known to many as the Ice Maiden, I have reason to believe the young Romanadvoratrelundar, future President of Gallifrey and irritating genius is (was?) not as high and mighty as her classmates would insist. For one, I have a series of compromising files; for another, a collection of raunchy love letters.

At least by Gallifreyan standards and, according to that meddlesome Doctor, Earth standards.

Dalek standards merely suggest Darkel should’ve been killed, and for once they’re right.

* * *

Look, I personally don’t ship Romana/Darkel, but her diary provides a fascinating insight into the future President’s mind.

It’s not an invasion of privacy! It’s just... an inquiring friend who thinks the child Romanadvoratrelundar may have had problems. Of course, everything is a problem. Forget resistance is futile; more like existence is futile. Any extra editions with be marked with **[note:]** , for example: 

> **[note: I hate everything. Let us begin.]**

* * *

The first page reads as follows:

> First day at the Academy. I already hate 

The following sentence was scribbled out by Romana I at some point earlier in the timeline. For the sake of my crumbling sanity, we shall simply move on.

Oh, and also her privacy.

Whatever that is. Ahem, continuing:

> The Darkel girl is pretty but I think she would be better if she didn't speak. I am half-tempted to ask Tutor Ushas **[note: pg. 34 implies possible crush on this Tutor]** for a gun. She would look even better without a head.
> 
> Aevin insists I have psychosexual issues. Apparently wanting to kiss and murder your classmates is not normal.
> 
> Will be investigating in more detail at a later date.

Disturbing, now goodbye. I’m off to listen to Fallout Boys to erase these horrific mental images from my mind.

* * *

I have already consumed one can of ginger beer. The young Romana truly was a nightmare (and _not_ because of her neurotype, nor mental health).

Page 56 is particularly strange.

> Darkel doesn’t approve of snogging in random corridors, but what’s the fun **[note: people are dying, Karen]** in that? Darkel doesn’t approve of anything and that’s not going to stop me. 
> 
> Also apparently people call me the Ice Maiden which is just... rude??? Leave me alone bitch.
> 
> Tutor Braxiatel emailed me

Sorry, saw Brax’s name and got distracted. Not quite sure what happened after that.

> Tutor Braxiatel is very pretty, actually. Why are all my tutors so insufferably compelling?
> 
> No, Darkel, you’re not my Tutor. 
> 
> That would be kinky.

Ugh. I assume Romana was talking to Darkel at the time, however I would like to dissect myself after those statements.

Goodbye forever, hell world.

* * *

Never mind. Unfortunately I am still here, and still have to sit through another series of Romana’s awful lovelorn ramblings. Frankly, the only interesting bits are her... er... interests.

> Have discovered a new fondness for interdimensional chemistry and hyperspace

I won’t bother you with the seventeen pages of talk, but she certainly is something. Even as a teenager (or what counts as a teenager. Terrifying creatures).

> Gallifreyan politics is actually kind of distressing? Borusa says this is a weird reaction but it’s too long and confusing and I can’t wrap my head around it

Congratulations! You’re normal.

* * *

> Darkel is not very good at sex

What the fuck.

> She learns fast though!

Leela please stab me.

> Might cut my hair

Finally, something sensible-

> Can rocks be used as... ah, never mind

I don’t want to know.

> Darkel get _off!_ You can ruin my essays (and kiss me) later!

Kill me now.

* * *

No, Braxiatel, I do not _squee_ every time I see your name. It is a highly dignified sound, not- 

What on Gallifrey does “sksksksksksk” mean?

> ok boomer

Romana never made any sense then, and she still doesn’t now!

> if anyone in the future is reading this **[note: yes, I am. You’re horrible.]** then oh my _gods!_ Get a life. ~~Outside of Darkel.~~

I really, really wish I had access to bleach right now.

One last page. One last page and then I will pull a Doctor.

Brax that is not a bad idea, no I am not secretly your brother, why are you-

MMMMMPH

* * *

One last page. Finally, my torment is over.

> would marry Darkel (if I had the chance) 

Please don’t.

> I love Darkel. **[note: future Romana slipped a photo of herself in here. It’s just here with a gun, I will leave it at the end of this section.]** There you go, I said it.

Holy Hells.

> Going to apply for Professor maybe?? That idiotic Professor Cardel certainly isn’t an improvement like I would be. 

Ha! As _if._

> Tutor Ushas has apparently gone renegade. A shame, I liked her.

We get it, you’re gay.

**See attached file:**

**[image description: Romana III with a gun. /End image description.]**

* * *

Apparently it’s over now-

What do you **mean** this isn’t required reading, Brax? Leela told me it was an essential file!

I hate Leela as well now. No I will not make a list of how much I hate each of you, yes I hate each of you, no that is not endearing in the slightest-

Brax you can’t kiss me to solve all your problems!

BRAX-


End file.
